Breathing Again

I’m always amazed that I don’t know I’m holding my breath until I breathe.

James met for the first time with his oncologist this week and it is the last time they will need to meet.  The diagnosis has been officially changed to stage one colon cancer, the surgery totally removed the cancer, there will be no need for chemotherapy, there is no need for any additional treatment, and there is no need for follow-up with the oncologist.  James will do his regular checkups with his primary care physician and the only thing added to his usual regimen is an annual colonoscopy.

The reason for this good outcome is of course early detection.  James has always been good about responding to the signals from his body and consulting with his doctor if something is amiss.  He is urging all of his friends to have the tests done that our primary care physicians are always recommending but we might put off because we’re busy.  I'll join him in urging everyone to make sure that any cancers lurking in our bodies get detected early.

I felt the greatest relief when I got the news about James’ visit to the oncologist.  On an intellectual level, I already knew that the evidence indicated that he was going to be fine.  But those worries that mothers carry around in their emotions had been keeping me awake at night and had been skittering around during the day.  The stress was definitely affecting me, although I had no idea that was true until the stress was no longer there.  I’ve had good sleep for the past two nights.  And I’m breathing again.